Let's play editor

I'm so glad baseball season is back. One of my students sent me a link to this column about a statue of Chicago Cubs legend Ernie Banks. Young fans might not know that doubleheaders used to be common in the major leagues. Banks, also known as "Mr. Cub," loved the game so much that he is often quoted as saying "Let's play two." But as Chicago Tribune columnist Mary Schmich writes, there's something very wrong with the statue.

At least they didn't spell it "Let's play to."

Show the saint some love

St. Patrick's day is Monday, in case you forgot. Before you start celebrating, you should check out this column in today's Denver Post. The author, Jimmy Hayde, is asking readers to think about the holiday in a different way. I'm curious to see what Crank readers have to say.

If you'd like to read some history about the holiday, take a look at this.

And whether you're drinking to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March Madness or Spring Break, remember to use a designated driver. And try not to edit the menus. I'll do the same.

Crankiness is all the rave

I love letters to the editor. They are the first things I read most mornings. I like starting my day by finding out which stories have riled readers and which have hit home. It prepares me for the rigors of teaching news writing and copy editing to college students. With that in mind, I had to share a wonderful letter published in Sunday's edition of The New York Times Book Review and written by Ian Mackenzie of Brooklyn.

Here's a sampling:

To the editor:

Never have I finished an outright rave — and a front-page one at that — less convinced of a novel’s merits than I was at the end of Liesl Schillinger’s review of Charles Bock’s “Beautiful Children” (Feb. 3). It is only the latest example in a worrisome trend of slathering praise upon the prose of a certain genus of writer — Marisha Pessl comes to mind — who operates in a constant, hysterical pitch, at the expense of precision, lucidity and memorable elegance ....

Mackenzie goes on to discuss commas, nouns and metaphors, as well as the definitions of brimstone and sulfur. Who knew they were synonyms? This is the stuff of dreams for cranks like me.

Read the entire letter.

To the critic:

When I retire, I'd like you to take over this blog. Thank you for caring about the language I love.

Sincerely,

The Crank

Fun with semicolons

Just had to post a link this New York Times article about semicolons. It seems a lot of people are just gushing about the fact that a sign in the New York City subway system uses proper punctuation. I guess I would do the same if I ever saw a sign in Denver that used an apostrophe correctly.

I'm one of those who avoids semicolons. I prefer short sentences. Short sentences smack people in the eyes. They hit hard. They hit fast. They're remembered. I believe they have more impact than long, drawn-out sentences that go on for hours like one of those passages in a Faulkner novel, which I really never could understand; I tell my students to avoid semicolons for this very reason.

One of the few uses of a semicolon I endorse is when a list contains items that include commas, like the following example from the Associated Press Stylebook, edited by Norm Goldstein:

He is survived by a son, John Smith, of Chicago; three daughters, Jane Smith, of Wichita, Kan., Mary Smith, of Denver, and Susan Smith, of Boston; and a sister, Martha Smith, of Omaha, Neb.

Notice that the above sentence includes state abbreviations after Wichita and Omaha but not after Chicago, Boston or Denver. That's because, according to AP style, the latter three cities always stand alone in datelines and copy. Also notice that the abbreviations are not the same as those used by the U.S. Postal Service. AP style is tricky, but it's so much fun. Semicolons might be tricky, but they're no fun; maybe that's why I tell my students to avoid them.

Offense taken

I just can't understand how so many people can so calmly accept the media's continued use of blatently sexist and homophobic language. Today's example is a piece by business columnist Al Lewis in The Denver Post. The column, which poked fun at Douglas Bruce, a Colorado legislator who has since been censured for kicking a Rocky Mountain News photographer, had the following headline:

Girlyman Bruce deserves the boot

The headline writer got the word "girlyman" from the column, in which Lewis refers to Bruce as "a girlyman who kicks and won't say he's sorry."

As if that wasn't bad enough, the lead (or introduction) of the story reads as follows:

Douglas Bruce kicks like a little girl.

Later in the column, Lewis asks of Bruce:

"What's he going to do next? Bite? Pinch? Pull hair?

How do I hate this? Let me count the ways, term by sexist term.

First, saying someone "kicks like a girl" sounds like something I used to hear when I was young, 30 years ago. Whenever somebody tried to put down another kid by saying he "threw like a girl," I got upset, probably because I was a girl who could throw better than most boys. But seriously, the use of this put-down only serves to reinforce the tired stereotype that girls are not meant to be athletes.

Second, my 2-year-old son bites and kicks. So why not call Bruce a 2-year-old or a toddler? Or as one of my editing students suggested, why not say he had a temper tantrum. Or better yet, why not say he kicks like a little boy? Now that would be a breakthrough.

Third, the term "girlyman" is not just a tired remnant of an old "Saturday Night Live" skit. And it's not just a reference to California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's ridiculously self-mocking repetition of the term. It is a slap in the face to women and gay men. What is wrong with being "girly"? What's wrong with being a girl? Apparently there's something wrong with it, or else people wouldn't feel the need to use feminizing terms as put-downs.

Probably the worst thing you can say about a man is that he is not manly. And what are the most unmanly things out there? Girls and gay men. So there you go. You hear it on the playground. And from what I've been told, you hear it from college students. And I know you hear it in bars and professional settings and even family dinner tables. That's the problem.

Interestingly enough, when I contacted Al Lewis about this, here's what he told me:

I wanted to take this issue down to the pre-school level where it belongs.

I guess he did. But is that really the way to go? When a columnist for a large metro daily newspaper uses sexist language, he's simply reinforcing what's said on the playground and in the dorm room and in the bar. I try to teach my students that as journalists -- whether in public relations, advertising or news -- they have the power to tell people what's important. And that power carries with it a responsibility. How can I teach my students to be responsible when professionals break all the rules? But then again, I also teach my students to ask follow-up questions, follow AP style and write concisely. Most professional journalists don't follow those rules, either.

But this problem is bigger than journalism. The problem is a society where offensive language is ignored and sexism and homophobia are tolerated. One example of this is the fact that my students almost unanimously agreed that Lewis had every right to use these words. These are journalism students in a junior-level editing class. Some said that the author was going for effect. Yes, that's true. But as other students countered, he could have gotten the effect with other words. Some reasoned that because it was a column, Lewis had the right to say whatever he wanted. That's true. They also agreed that if it had been a news story, the editor would have the right to change the wording.

But here's my take: Shouldn't a columnist, who gets to share his opinions with the world for a living, be held to a higher standard? Just because something isn't against the law does not mean it's OK to do. And just because a professional writer does it doesn't mean you should follow along like a sheep.

I guess it comes down to your own ethical values. I'm no ethics expert, but I do know that I wouldn't want to hear my son using the words Lewis used in his column.

I wasn't the only reader offended by the column. You can read some interesting comments about the column, and see Lewis' take, at his blog.

And I'd love to see your comments on this subject. Thanks for reading.

What a bad ass

Saw the following on a bumper sticker some time ago, and I just can't stop thinking about how much an editing class would have helped the writer.

Bad ass girls
drive bad asstrucks

My old but accurate "Webster's New World Dictionary: Third College Edition," defines a "badass" as "a troublemaker, especially one who is rough, tough, mean, or sometimes, violent." The word is listed as both a noun and an adjective, and both are one word.

I don't think I'll be driving an "asstruck," thank you very much. In fact, that's one vehicle I'd prefer not to see on the road -- ever.

And here's the kicker. The bumper sticker was on the back of a Ford Escort, a car that's always said "troublemaker" to me.

Of this he is correct

Been on vacation. Sorry for the wait.

Any wordies out there who haven't read William Safire's "On Language" column? It runs every Sunday in The New York Times Magazine. I enjoyed Sunday's piece on the word "of." I especially liked the last section, in which the columnist reminds us that "could've" is short for "could have," not "could of." I see the latter all the time in student work. Spell checker won't catch that mistake, people.