Grin and bear it

A colleague sent me these gems via e-mail:

"Summarizing a journal article on JFK's press relations, one student misquoted the author as writing that JFK was the 'standard bear for presidential television.' I guess Yogi was only the standard bear for entertainment television.

"Writing about the same article, another student called the Jupiter missiles we had in Turkey 'Juniper missiles.' Next we'll see rocket-propelled green ashes, I suppose."

For those of you keeping score at home, the following definitions come from The New Shorter Oxford English Dictionary, 1993.

A standard-bearer is a conspicuous advocate of a cause, or prominent teacher of a political or religious party. It can also mean a soldier whose duty is to carry a standard or a person who carries a banner in a procession.

I have no idea what a standard bear is.

Jupiter, named after the chief god of the Romans, is the fifth planet from our sun.

A juniper is a type of shrub or low tree with pungent berries.

I think both of the above mistakes might be caused by students' reliance on spell-checking. They misspell a word, and then run the spell-check program. Then they just click on the first alternate spelling that comes up. I can't count the number of times I've seen "defiantly" instead of "definitely."

Any other gems out there? I would love to post them.

On another note, I recently posted about how much I hate "preregistration." Well, wouldn't you know it? I came across the word in a pamphlet I got on surgery at Children's Hospital, a highly rated medical center in Denver. Under the heading "Surgery Preregistration," it says we will need to "preregister" our child for his appointment. Ouch.