Here's the lead:
BANGKOK, Thailand (AP) — A frog has been found in a remote part of Indonesia that has no lungs and breathes through its skin, a discovery that researchers said Thursday could provide insight into what drives evolution in certain species.According the sentence, it's not the frog but a remote part of Indonesia that has no lungs and breathes through its skin. The problem is with placement, or misplacement, if we're being technical. Whatever precedes "that has ..." is what gets modified. So I would rewrite the sentence as follows:
In a remote part of Indonesia, a frog has been found that has no lungs and breathes through its skin, a discovery that researchers said Thursday could provide insight into what drives evolution in certain species.Oops. I just realized another problem. The sentence is passive, meaning the subject is not doing anything. Active verbs are much more exciting, but sometimes a passive sentence works well. To fix the problem, we could change it to the following:
Researchers said Thursday that the discovery of a frog that has no lungs and breathes through its skin could provide insight into what drives evolution in certain species. The discovery occurred in a remote part of Indonesia.Passive sentences are not only boring, they're longer than active ones. If you want a reader to enjoy your story and keep reading, it's a good idea to use active verbs. One way to ensure active sentences is to avoid the words "there are" and "there is." For example, don't say "there are about 13,000 students at the University of Northern Colorado." Instead, say something like "About 13,000 students attend the University of Northern Colorado." "Attend" is a much more interesting verb than "there are."
